Home > Uncategorized > Have You Ever Driven a Car That Wipes Your Ass With the Softest Silk Imaginable?

Have You Ever Driven a Car That Wipes Your Ass With the Softest Silk Imaginable?

Stupid ads generally don’t inspire much in the way of comment; they are both too common and too unremarkable to, well, remark upon.  But this one is so over-the-top that I notice it every time it comes on:

“Pure silver dust hand-polished into the wood?”  WTF?  I mean, WTFF?

Next up from Infiniti:  a car that anticipates your sneezes, and deploys a fine linen handkerchief hand-woven by Indian street urchins; a car that senses hemorrhoids and pops up a donut in the seat to ease discomfort; a car that dispenses birth control when it detects the weight of two human bodies lying in prone position in the back seat; a car that detects bad smells and activates a pleasant masking scent through the climate control system to protect your delicate olfactory organs from even momentary offense.

Most people look at this kind of crap and think, “meh, stupid but ultimately harmless.”  I, on the other hand, look at stuff like this and think, “here’s another example of why the human race deserves extinction.”

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  1. June 8, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    well, excessive luxury goods are the only segment of the market still active, what with the banksters and oil oligarchs and other masters of the universe.

    Makes me look like a right idjit for concentrating on projects designated for urban infill and moderate income.

  2. Sirius Lunacy
    June 12, 2010 at 10:27 am

    I thought the idea behind buying an outrageously priced vehicle was in order to get the babes so it will no longer be necessary to hand polish the wood.

  3. Bilo
    June 23, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    I heard that commercial (only half-hear any commercials) and for the first few weeks I did hear it, I just thought they were making shit up. WTF?

    Luxury car makers have been falling all over themselves for the past ten years now to add gizmos to stay ahead of the Joneses. Because almost everything is large, heavy, powerful, safe, and gizmo-laden anymore. At least in Amurrica.

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