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Kitty Rescue Squad

So, about an hour ago I walked into the bedroom and through the french doors saw, beyond the patio, a flash of DOG moving through the backyard.  Because Eartha Kitty was out there, I went out to investigate – no kitty to be seen, but when I called for her, it caught DOG’s attention and he decided he’d like to come in – which he was not allowed to do.  Thus denied, DOG departed.

After making sure he was gone, I went out on the patio and called again, and sure enough, got a howling meow in response, coming from the general direction of the garage.  I moved closer, continuing to call but still failing to locate the source of the howling.  Finally, I looked up – and there she was, perched on a large branch of the oak which overhangs the garage roof and pretending she had no idea of how to get down.  I finally coaxed her down to the garage roof, where she again affected pretense of having no idea how to get down – despite the fact that I regularly see her jumping from the roof to the top of the fence which runs alongside the garage only 2 feet away.  Tiring of her charade, I retreated to the patio, only to notice for the first time the decapitated corpse of the young bunny she had deposited there (apparently not too long before going up the tree, judging by the condition of said corpse.  If you’re keeping score, so far the count stands at Bunnies – 1 and Eartha – 3, though she did lose out on 2 due to technicalities).

I continued to call, and she continued to howl, though she was all along looking nervously from the roof all around for DOG, who by this time  had not been seen in the vicinity for 15 or 20 minutes.  By now, the birds were becoming very upset with her.  Finally, I said, “fine, come down when you want, I’m going in.”  I step in just long enough to shut the door, and when I come back out, she’s nowhere in sight.  A few seconds later she comes slinking warily around the corner of the house and heads straight for the door, ignoring her trophy on the patio.

She’s been inside 30 minutes now and is still on patrol, like she thinks I let DOG in the house.

Life with a skittish animal is so very different from life with a well-adjusted one, though in spite of the howling during thunderstorms and the conviction that every person who is not me wants to kill her, I have to say that Eartha Kitty is perhaps the best cat I’ve ever had as a companion, in terms of being well-mannered and affectionate.  No early morning wake-ups for feeding or letting her out.  No pooping or peeing outside of designated areas.  No furniture shredding.  Not pushy about much of anything, except for when she really, really wants to play.  And although I regret the bunny genocide she’s undertaken, the count so far stands at something like 15 rats or more per bunny, and have you ever tried to explain to a cat that it’s ok to kill one type of small furry rodent, but not another?  All in all, a very fine cat indeed.

*No photos of incident included, to avoid revealing the tragic state of the back yard.

Update 6/18:  Last night’s bounty was a nice juicy medium-sized rat.  Which arrived with head still attached to the body.  As I said, every other one…

Update 6/20:  This morning’s fresh catch – a little headless mousie.  (Headless now, that is.  I assume the head was still attached when it was caught.)  I think I’ll just keep updating this one post with every new kill – I always knew she was a prolific killer but I may have been underestimating her prowess.  She may be the feline equivalent of Jimmy Carter – History’s Greatest Monster™.

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  1. herr doktor bimler
    June 12, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    “What does she know?” thinks kitty. “Rabbits are lagomorphs, not rodents.”

    • jennofark
      June 12, 2010 at 8:30 pm

      Point taken…kitty doesn’t discriminate against rodent OR lagomorph; she’s an equal opportunity killa of small furry (and feathered) things.

  2. lytanorman
    June 12, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    Yes. I’m no cat whisperer, but I think kitty just thinks the bunnies look like tasty prey.

  3. TruculentandUnreliable
    June 12, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    Although it’s annoying, it is pretty freaking hilarious when they pretend they suddenly don’t know how to jump down from trees/roofs. I don’t know what it is they want…are we supposed to climb up there to retrieve them? Fuck that noise. Weirdos.

  4. June 13, 2010 at 11:35 am

    our cat likes the bunnies too. Also eats the head, the eyes and brains must be particularly tasty (kitties are related to zombies? hmm.)

    And then leaves the rest of the ex-lagomorph for our dog. She’s fine with the non-head portions. Usually I get to the corpse before that though, causing distress through the fur-bearing community.

    • jennofark
      June 13, 2010 at 12:05 pm

      Yeah, this bunny’s brains had been eaten as well. I had a bunny body from the neck down, and a bunny face. The portions between face and neck were missing.

      Seriously, I don’t know why she brings these things up to the porch. Unlike all the other cats I’ve had, she doesn’t announce her kills. She just…leaves them on the patio when she’s done with them. My cat, the deconstructionist.

      She does have a pattern though – she only removes the head from every other kill; the others are left intact. Others have speculated that those are the ones she expects me to eat.

  5. June 13, 2010 at 10:28 pm


  6. June 14, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    Ah I think that it might be an extremely pointed hint Jennifer, YOU ARE NOT CONTRIBUTING TO THE PRIDE!!

    • jennofark
      June 14, 2010 at 7:57 pm

      Excuse me, but WTF do you think is stalking, slaying, and bringing home all those cans of Fancy Feast and bags of Purina Healthful Life?

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