Home > Uncategorized > Things You’ll Never See in Your Urban/Suburban Liberal Elitist Hellholes

Things You’ll Never See in Your Urban/Suburban Liberal Elitist Hellholes

I was in a school front office today, when an 8-year-old walked in and announced to the principal that there was a cow on the playground.  It was almost just like this other than not being at all like it, but since I’m not a techno-geek with the taking and downloading pictures to my computer and everything, I failed to get a picture of it and as luck would have it, “cow on playground” is something that seems to puzzle the Great Gazoogle.  Literally no one has posted a picture of a cow on a playground, at least as far as Google knows.

The way this little drama played out was that the folks in the school office first asked the student “what does the cow look like?”  Seriously.  Imagine living in a community so small that you actually recognize all the cows as well as the people. 

When it was established that it was a black cow, someone surmised that it probably belonged to Mr. Brown, whose field abuts the school grounds.  While the principal headed out to shoo the cow, office personnel summoned Mr. Brown’s children via intercom to go to the playground and confirm the cow’s identity.  A positive ID was made, and Mr. Brown was called and alerted to the rogue cow, which by this time had been shooed by the principal to “over behind the football field.”

Then Barney Fife showed up.

Not really, but that’s about the only thing that would have made the picture more complete.

The day before, three young deer crossed the road as I was driving to another school – the first crossing before my arrival at the crossing point, and the other two crossing just after I had passed it, which was a bit of luck there.

Sorry for the light posting of late, but the past month has been a crucial one for the business and I’ve been covered up, but more than that, my mind has been unquiet, literally racing most of the time with the stresses and obligations of the moment, which makes it impossible to focus on writing anything, even one of my typical half-assed posts.  Maybe someone else could step it up for the next couple of weeks [glares at co-bloggers] until things calm down a bit on this end, eh?

For those stalwarts among you who have continued to check in every few days, my apologies – I’ll try to do better.

PS – also seen on my recent travels:  a tractor-trailer emblazoned with the following in 2-foot tall letters on all three sides:  “Jesus Christ is the Lord, Not a Curse Word.” 

I was not aware that this was in dispute.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. September 2, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Jesus Christ!

  2. September 2, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Holy Farmer Brown’s cow!!!
    That sounds like a New Zild story J.

    • BDay
      September 2, 2010 at 11:33 pm

      Farmer Brown’s black cow, in fact.

  3. B^4
    September 2, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    Could someone tell me how
    One copes with a contrary cow?
    She’s out of her pasture,
    And it’s a disaster.
    Can somebody please help me now?

  4. BDay
    September 2, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    hahaha … you don’t want to get in a “busy” pissing match with me, do you? (deflects glare by raising an eyebrow).

    Blogs are for fun, not for guilt. Do it if you’re enjoying it, but don’t self-flagellate when you don’t.

  5. herr doktor bimler
    September 3, 2010 at 6:14 am

    That sounds like a New Zild story

    Not unless someone has to go out and shoo the sheep off the airstrip.

  6. StringonaStick
    September 3, 2010 at 9:10 am

    Hey, just post when you really do have the time; all of you. Don’t worry, I keep checking here and I understand being too busy; I suspect all 3 of you have lives or something similar…

  7. September 4, 2010 at 9:17 am

    Sheep have shoes?

  8. September 7, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    to match their sweaters.

  9. herr doktor bimler
    September 7, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    Sweaters? Those are woolly jumpers.

  10. September 9, 2010 at 9:42 am

    I don’t care what kind of sheep they are, Clyde.

  11. lytanorman
    September 20, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    Hey, I happen live in a Republican elitist hellhole that also happens to be a wildlife preserve. So, I regularly see deer, bears, wild turkeys, pileated woodpeckers, woodchucks, snakes, bobcats, and the occasional red fox. How now, black cow?

    • jennofark
      September 21, 2010 at 5:49 pm

      The obvious response here is that the hellhole YOU live in is neither liberal, urban OR suburban…though it IS elitist, and I suspect there’s a good number of Barney Fifes in the community as well.

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