Home > Uncategorized > She Turned Me Into a Newt!

She Turned Me Into a Newt!

…I got better.

Ok, so she’s NOT a witch.

But her dad was a clown. Though he never made the Bozo Big Time – he was more like Bozo the Temp:

…he confirmed that yes, he was Bozo, but not an official, full-time certified Bozo, more of a part-time Bozo.

“To be an official Bozo, you had to go to a special school in Texas,” explained Mr. O’Donnell.

You don’t say. 

On reflection, perhaps Christine’s multiple resume embellishments are perfectly understandable, what with having seen up-close and personal the damage “assistant clown” did to her father’s vitae.

  1. justme
    October 5, 2010 at 4:43 am
  2. BDay
    October 5, 2010 at 8:03 am

    That’s actually a great ad. It shames her detractors and does Palin’s regular Jill better than even Palin.

    I heard Jon Stewart say last night on Fresh Air that the mistake Dems will make is focusing on things like the witch dabbling and what she said 20 years ago on MTV about masturbation. Instead of her stand (or lack thereof?) on policies and issues.

    • jennofark
      October 5, 2010 at 8:50 am

      The only thing I ever thought worthy of ridicule about the witch thing was the fact that it was an obvious lie, but one very revealing of who this character is. She talked about having a picnic on a Satanic altar stained with blood, and, let’s face it, that’s bullshit. There’s a group of people in this country – of which she is a part – who believe that there are Satanists lurking behind every tree and shrub. How many of them have YOU ever met? I mean, come on – clearly we have led much less sheltered lives than Christine here has, and I’ve never seen a “Satanic altar” – have you? What it reminded me of was the time about 20 years ago that a buffoonish local TV reporter here went to “investigate” claims of “Satanic activity” in the Ozark National Forest. The “evidence” he found was a goat’s skull, a pair of granny panties, and the symbol for “anarchy” – you know, the capital A with the circle drawn around it – which being a buffoon, he interpreted as a “Satanic symbol”. Because all of these items were found on the same acre of land…SATANISTS!!!!

      So I agree to this extent – the issue isn’t that she claimed to have dabbled in witchcraft – the issue is that this is just another indication that she’s a serial liar and fabulist. But because saying that might offend people who really, really want to believe that our Satanic overlords are poised to take over this once proud, mighty, and God-fearing nation – people who would never vote for a Democrat anyway – the Dems instead pretend to take what she said at face value and hammer on her alleged witchcraft-dabbling past.

  3. October 5, 2010 at 8:23 am

    I love the fact that she cuts the ad dressed in black and with her hair styled like Wednesday Addams. Not a witch, no, she just plays one here.

  4. jim
    October 5, 2010 at 11:55 am

    I’m you … as long as you want to abolish the Department of Education, help privatize Social Security, ban abortion & add another $4 trillion or so to America’s debt – & who wouldn’t? After all, what could possibly go worng?

    Nobody’s happy with healthcare reform, or fixing the student-loans scam, or any attempts to clean up the Wall Street Casino – so wipe that stupid smile off your face, NOW, unless you want the liberal terrorists to win! No more backroom deals – I’ll suck that corporate cock right out in public, just like the Founding Fathers intended! I’ll do just what you’d do: latch onto the Chamber Of Commerce teat & suck like a Hoover on steroids.

    * The GOP: We Didn’t Quite Kill America Last Time – So Just Give Us One More Chance To Do It RIGHT *

  5. justme
    October 5, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    I’ll go to Washington, and do what you’d do.

    More lies.

    I’d masturbate.

    • jennofark
      October 5, 2010 at 12:41 pm


      One internets, headed your way.

  6. B^4
    October 5, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    She is not me.

  7. October 5, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    Bring out your largest scales, and a duck.

    Then we’ll get to the bottom of this.

    P.S. Why a duck?

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