Bed bug

"Crunch! Crunch! I was rolling around all night on the thing!"

This one’s for you, Jaffner. The Twentysomething I work with is a bit (!) of a clean freak. Doesn’t tolerate dirt, much less germs, and certainly not bugs.

Saturday, she puts fresh sheets on the bed, but Sunday she sees a dark spot  when she wakes up. On closer inspection, she realizes it’s a great huge Palmetto bug right under where she’s been sleeping. Into the toilet goes the bug, where the Twentysomething takes another look and realizes the thing isn’t quite intact. The photo is from the roach guts on the back of her shirt.

“I was wondering why the dog wasn’t sleeping in the bed with me — the crunching must’ve disturbed her.”