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Weekend Roundup

Your sweep-the-floor special…a collection of random bits and thoughts I’ve not gotten around to really expanding upon.

First up, the debate over whether Elena Kagan is liberal enough…opinions range from Sully who believes Kagan is a lesbian and is constructing rationales about how it’s wrong, wrong, WRONG for her to not just come out come out…this despite the fact that Sully has no proof she’s gay.  Then we’ve got the eternally stoopid David Brooks complaining that Kagan has been too “cautious” in revealing how she feels about anything, thereby depriving Brooks the opportunity of criticizing whatever position she may have on issues.  The liberal blogs are all atwitter with charges of Obama being a milquetoast sellout colliding with the more moderate claims that Obama never said he was Lefty McLiberal in the first place, so whaddya expect?

Me, I’m just waiting for the confirmation hearings, to find out how Kagan would have ruled in the important cases of Smelt It v. Dealt It* and Rubber v. Glue.  Not to mention No, YOU Are v. So’s Yo Mama.  So everyone just chill the fuck out…until Kagan tells us her stance on these weighty matters, none of us are really in a position to judge the would-be judge.

As noted elsewhere, the confirmation hearings will likely also deliver unto us answers to the important questions, “do you drive a Suburu?” and “those shoes you’re wearing…would you describe them as ‘comfortable’?”  It’s Andy Warhol’s world now; we just live in it.  While ironically, Andy himself does not.

Next up, I’ve been collecting a series of blog comments from various places around the ‘tubes that deserve to be enjoyed by a wider audience…kind of a “texts from last night” of the liberal blog world.  I’m calling it “comments out of context” because really, they’re funnier when they have none.  So here’s our first installment:


I had sex with an Objectivist stripper once. There was some fucked up pillow talk afterwards. She also played weird industrial music on her tinny computer speakers for a while. Sounded like pigs stabbing each other with screwdrivers.

 From Matt Taibbi’s TrueSlant blog, 4/24/10

 Substance McGravitas said,

May 3, 2010 at 18:56

You can clearly see who has the fast typing fingers here.

Mine were bought from a wizened little man at a marketplace in Marrakesh. They work great, but he warned me about a curse that would eventually kill me in a terrifying and abrupt w

From Sadly, No!, 5/3/10

 smut clyde said,

May 4, 2010 at 22:20

But the culture of Christianity […] lay[s] substantial roadblocks to violent or illegal behavior.
There’s your problem right there. Violence and illegal behaviour drive whopping great cars and think nothing of crashing straight through the roadblocks. What you need is some of those tyre spikes, which you only get with the culture of Buddhism.

 From Sadly, No!, 5/4/10

 Odin said,

May 8, 2010 at 3:07

And as the pope weeps, he must feel the pain of our Lord on the cross

Your god was nailed to a cross. My boy has a hammer. I’m just saying.

From Sadly, No!, 5/7/10

 Comic Book Resources, Robot 6 blog wed 5/5 6:52pm

[A] collection of romantic one-panel gags starring those famous star-crossed lovers, Henry Rollins and Glenn Danzig. If you’ve ever wanted to know how the lead singers of Black Flag and the Misfits would maintain a relationship in the face of interference from their Satan-worshipping next-door neighbors Darryl Hall and John Oates, now’s your chance. Henry & Glenn Forever comes to us from Igloo Tornado, a collective consisting of The Blot’s Tom Neely and his artistic compatriots Gin Stevens, Scott Nobles, and Levon Jihanian, and it’s available for $4 from Microcosm.

From http://microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/zines/3174/ , 5/5/10

See?  SEE?  Pure comedy gold, and deserving of far greater exposure.  Sorry not everything above is linked, but nothing’s stopping you from cutting and pasting the urls, you lazy bastards.  Now, get to work and think up some more funny stuff for blog comments for me to cut and paste to the blog here.

Next, a picture of Pedobear, because not everyone knows about him:


 I had never heard of Pedobear myself until very recently, but because I wander around some very weird places on the internets, it was only a matter of time.  Apparently, there have been a series of weird sites over the years, many populated by the same cast of characters, from whence many memes have been born.  Pedobear originated in the 4chan community as a short-hand notation for any comment with a pedophile vibe – someone responding to the questionable comment would just post this picture of Pedobear.  Recently, Pedobear appeared in stencil form, as vandals on the island of Malta added him to signs welcoming the Pope for his visit.  I have to admit, I thought that was hysterical, but that’s because I’m the type who still maintains a healthy appreciation for all manner of deliquency, so long as the brick’s not getting tossed through my window.

Anyhoo, the 4chan community where Pedobear originated eventually spawned the Something Awful forums (and if you’ve ever seen the picture of the hirsute man in the speedo with the kitten head over at The Poorman Institute, you know what repulsive things can be found there), and later Encyclopedia Dramatica, which features some truly revolting filth, as well as a lot of very funny content.

Last but not least, just wanted to give everyone a heads up that Helen has a new post up over at the Margaret and Helen blog, and also to point out to everyone one of my favorite little blogs, detroitblog.  Actually, I don’t know how “little” it is.  I just love it, probably because of my disposition for dystopian visions, but it truly is a little gem, chronicling as it does the changing realities of a city in decline, told from the perspective of individuals who are living and coping with those changing realities.  If blogging had been around after the Vandals sacked Rome, this is what it would have looked like.  Can’t recommend it highly enough.

* The legal ramifications of Smelt It v. Dealt It were first explored by Gavin M. of Sadly, No! and over the intervening years the case has been analyzed with such care and detail as is usually only found in wingnut welfare publications, though in Gavin’s case it was done purely in the spirit of the public interest, no Soros dollars involved.

  1. Xecky Gilchrist
    May 15, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    If it makes you feel any better, I too think that the Malta pedobear stencils were hilarious.

    And S,N! does have the best commenters anywhere.

  2. jim
    May 16, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    My Inner Child wept when I saw that my snark didn’t make the cut … so I smacked the little bugger in the head.

    The chans are a very interesting place to visit, but it’s prudent to clad one’s spirit in a rhinoceros-hide jockstrap before entering.

    PROTIP: never click any link to “Offended” on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Ever. Not even on a dare.

    • jennofark
      May 16, 2010 at 12:37 pm

      Knowing you, jim, you did have some snark that made the cut sometime in the past several weeks, but I just didn’t see it. Maybe I should pull a Jonah and ask everyone to send me comments that deserve inclusion…probably not a bad idea.

  3. PeeJ
    May 17, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Cool! I had thought my Odin comment must have been a lead balloon – thanks for making me feel so much better!

  4. Halloween Jack
    May 18, 2010 at 11:20 am

    My respect for Encyclopedia Dramatica lessened somewhat when I saw one of their pages with a link to a SFW version, although knowing them, it may have led to an attack web site or something.

  5. BDay
    May 21, 2010 at 10:44 am

    Hey Jaffner, why don’t you share links to your blog haunts in the blogroll at right? (Under Links in your dashboard) I added a few.

    • jennofark
      May 21, 2010 at 12:06 pm

      I’ve been wondering forever how to put up a blogroll. I’ll check it out.

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